Category Archives: Trying to be serious.

Part One of Three: Appearance

Before I begin, here’s a small disclaimer: some women out there reading this might be taken aback, or insulted by my next few blog entries. Sorry if it rubs you the wrong way. I believe we all have convictions, and any one conviction can offend dozens of people. Its what keeps life interesting, and keeps us all growing in knowledge and insight. This topic isn’t meant to offend; I merely want to open up the discussion. And yes, this is the first of a handful of entries. First topic… fashion and makeup.

I guess the foundation of my whole argument in regard to appearance stems back to humans in the second purest state next to Adam & Eve… infancy. Delicate, angelic, beautiful. As we age, this perfection fades gradually. The bumps and bruises of life, and the natural aging process, lead us to the age of 20 or 30 when we notice our first wrinkle. But the consumption of appearance happens much before then. For me, it happened at the age of 11 when a close friend told me I had a big butt. I don’t remember feeling hurt by it, because she had no butt at all. Yet, despite my knowledge that we were built differently, I began the process of comparing myself to others.

Here I am, at the young age of 30, baffled by appearance and expectations of beauty. I told a friend this about myself the other day: “Think about it. I am unhappy with my imperfect skin, therefore I buy foundation to cover it up. Foundation, in any form, makes me break out. Therefore, I continue wearing foundation out of necessity. Additionally, I have begun to feel “nude” without eye makeup. Why? Because most women wear eye makeup to make their eyes pop and sparkle. So, if I don’t wear makeup, I will always think I look like I just rolled out of bed. I MUST wear eye makeup to avoid this feeling.”

Imagine this: what if women as a whole simply all decided to stop wearing makeup? I’d stop having to compare myself to women who I believe to have flawless, even skin. I’d stop comparing myself to women whose eyes are stunning and brilliant because they meticulously selected and applied the perfect shade and amount of makeup to their eyelids and lashes. I’d stop telling God, “I know you created me in your image, but I like MY way better.”

I move on to my next point. MEN. I truly believe women are entirely wrong in their philosophy that men like all this makeup and jewelry in which we adorn ourselves. I sincerely believe men most admire women who 1) shower, 2) smile, and 3) are comfortable in their clothing. Aside from that, I’m not sure if their brain processing goes much further.

In a pre-marriage quiz at one of my bridal showers, Aaron had been asked a few questions ahead of time. One question was this: “What is Kelly most sexy in?” At my shower, I was supposed to answer what I thought was true. When the ladies asked me the question, I simply said this: “t-shirt and jeans”. I was right, and oh yes, I know my husband well. As much as I wanted him to answer something much more exciting, I knew the truth.

A friend of mine responded to my previous question on Facebook about appearance, faith, expectations, and who we should be looking to for admiration. Beyond what God looks for in us, and what our husband desires, do we need to look further? Here is my favorite point from her response: “Colored jeans are making a comeback. Many of us women will want some and that’s great! If we have the money and our husbands dig them I say we go for it! But let’s say our husband thinks they are butt ugly. Then we should not wear them. I know we may think we look cute and so will all our friends but our friends and ourselves are not who we should be aiming to please.”

I can back her up on that topic. I just started to wear foundation again after a LONG hiatus, and I’m not really sure why. I asked Aaron if he liked it, since I was pretty happy with the outcome. Aaron’s response, “Actually, when I kissed you earlier all I could see was makeup.” (which basically meant, “I think it looks unnatural and I prefer you without it.”) I have to tell you in all truth, I LOVE my husband’s honesty! And yes, I stopped wearing it.

What can we conclude from this? Well for starters, I want to plead to those who read my blog to start enjoying yourself as God made you. That’s all I have for now… but this is only the tip of the iceberg as far as I’m concerned. 🙂

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And I said hey….

I was going to title this post “What’s Going on” but then that one Four None Blondes song popped into my head and my post found its true title. I think its important to share the rest of the iceberg with you. Although, I don’t know why people talk about that. Iceberg lettuce has no flavor, no nutritional value, and its cheap. Three things I’m not. Eh, I’ll just go with it. I have a hard time exposing myself (in writing) like this, not knowing who reads this. But I wouldn’t have this blog if I didn’t want to share.

*Thankfulness overflows in my heart. Things like my Mom delivering a sandwich to me during play practice, having friends who are fine letting me be who I am in my entirety without judgment or harsh criticism, having a husband who is wise beyond belief and knows exactly what to say and MEANS it. I am thankful for the ability to express myself in music, writing, and laughter. Thankful for friends who pay for lunch unexpectedly, for unexpected compliments, for Undeserved Gifts.

*Joy under stress. My husband prayed for me last night after an incredibly rough day of emotions and battles.  He prayed that I would remember to find joy in the middle of my trials, and that I would be able to be at peace knowing I am doing God’s work, regardless of how hard I am being hit in life.

*I am self-centered. While my brain tries to internalize everything and make the whole world revolve around me, I work REALLY hard to push my attention outward. You have no idea how hard I work to extinguish my selfish, egocentric nature. My heart constantly wants to turn everything into an issue about me, which makes my brain work double time trying to logically prove to my heart that “its not about me.”

*People refer often to how they “date themselves.” I know what this REALLY means, but I don’t care. If I was dating myself I’d totally buy me a massage and have a nice night in with a romantic comedy, a Mimosa, and abundance of Thai food.

*I’m thinking of buying furry cat suits for my kids so they have an excuse to misbehave in public and still be socially accepted. The thought really did cross my mind for a second, so I looked it up. How could anyone resist my kids’ cuteness in one of these: …even if they are knocking over entire palettes of Mayonnaise and attempting to reposition the containers (with no success).