Monthly Archives: May 2014

How to Start a Daily Bible Reading Plan (for busy moms)

  1. 4-5F48F8BA-121168-800Put kids to bed.
  2. Open laptop, check Facebook and Email. Respond to group email about playgroup next Thursday.
  3. Watch a few Kid History clips. Because they’re funny.
  4. In Google Search, type “90 day bible reading plan”.
  5. Walk sleepwalking child back to bed, and pray he doesn’t wake up again. At least not until tomorrow.
  6. Return to computer, play Bubble Breaker nine times.
  7. Return to Google Search. Make the decision you can create your own plan.
  8. Brush teeth, remove makeup, pluck eyebrows, practice smiling, practice sucking in post-baby belly.
  9. Retrieve water glass from kitchen, unload dishwasher, wipe down counters, shut fridge door.
  10. Turn all lights off, then shut door quickly or something will bite your toes.
  11. Remind yourself to act brave in front of the kids.
  12. Do a few last-minute planks and crunches since you missed this morning’s workout.
  13. Neatly set Bible on nightstand.
  14. Pray before opening Bible.
  15. Hit snooze button on alarm
  16. Take a moment to figure out why your alarm went off. Check clock.
  17. Get up, brew coffee, pray the kids don’t wake up. At least not for another hour.
  18. Drink the coffee before the kids become too annoying.
  19. Pour another cup of coffee.
  20. Run kids to school in your slippers. In the minivan.
  21. Return to your peaceful home.
  22. Clean, fold, and wash all the things.
  23. Microwave coffee you left on the counter two hours ago.
  24. Get data entry work done for your part-time, flexible, stay-at-home job (…or if you don’t have a job outside the home, multiply step #22 by five, and add a little extra dinner preparation).
  25. Eat lunch. Or take a shower.
  26. Clean more things.
  27. Pick kids up from school.
  28. Prep dinner while kids read school reading books to you in a box on the kitchen floor.
  29. Give in to letting kids play Lego Batman so you can sit down and play 2048.
  30. Eat a nice family dinner. Remind kids to stay in chairs as you notice “someone” wrote “their name” on the dinner table earlier.
  31. After dinner, throw the smelliest kid into the bathtub.
  32. Guide kids lovingly to the bathroom to brush teeth and go potty. Remind them to flush next time. And wipe.
  33. Tuck kids lovingly into bed, read them a goodnight story, and say a thoughtful prayer about good dreams and *yawn* that they *aaagh… amen.*
  34. Repeat.
Advertisements