A New Song and the start of my (currently unlisted) Youtube Channel

This here blog post is a big move for me. I’m used to using my words to express myself; but my music feels much different when I think of people listening to it. Not sure why… maybe its because as a kid and teenager, no one knew I could sing. It wasn’t until college when I began writing songs that I really found my voice. So now as an adult, trying to share a passion of mine, I’m SUPER self-conscious about it. Not to mention the ultra-personal music I tend to write. I also compare myself to others in my life who are amazingly talented, and well… I just want to keep my music to myself at that point.

But here I go.

The other day I woke up in a funk. It wasn’t just an “I seriously need coffee” kind of funk though. It was a Spiritual thing. I felt 10 tons of weight on my heart as feelings of loneliness and rejection stampeded me. I have no reason to feel this way, and never really have… its just a way the enemy (aka the devil) tries to tear me apart. I used to give in, and get worked up when I’d even remotely feel rejected or alone. But the past few years I’ve shed off a ton of baggage. And my music has been a huge part of it.

After some rough moments getting ready trying to keep my cool, I realized it might be good to sit down and read my Bible. This wasn’t an easy choice to make… its much easier to cry and be mad at people!

I opened to Psalm 25, which in my Bible, I’ve inked in a different title “My Guidance Psalm.” I wrote that back in high school, and I tend to refer to it often. But a strange thing happened when I read it this time.

I reached verse 18: “Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.” Suddenly I had a new realization of what this really meant. Sin causes distress, anguish, loneliness. No one else is to blame for the issues I face when I give in to sin. When I hold grudges, and feel spite and anger instead of throwing them out the window, I face nothing but problems. But when I choose to allow Christ to enter my life and be the only voice I hear, my distress disappears.

So my prayer is evident in the song I’m about to share. My kids were doing their best to be quiet as I recorded, but they were still distracting. 🙂 

Here are the lyrics:


See my heart, my distress,
See the way I sin in ways I don’t confess to You
Search my heart, every part of me
I don’t deserve the light from Your glory
Your glory

Search my mind, every word
Take away every thought that tears me down
Search my mind, every thought in me
I don’t deserve the light from Your glory
Your glory

O o oh, Your glory shines
O o oh, search every part of me
O o oh, You are divine
O o oh, You’re holy

You have to pay to upload videos on here… but YouTube is free so here’s my link.

2 thoughts on “A New Song and the start of my (currently unlisted) Youtube Channel

  1. Annette Janzen says:

    Kelli Really liked the song. So glad to see you are having time to get back to your music.

  2. rainbow says:

    halalujah! I love it:)

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