I’ve been thinking a lot lately about loneliness. What causes it? Who suffers from it? During the Christmas season I think about people who have lost loved ones, who don’t have family who supports them, and I especially think about orphans and foster children who just have no idea what their future holds. Not to mention emotional and spiritual loneliness. I can admit, I deal with it at times. I bet we all do, to a certain extent. We all battle thoughts of feeling unwanted, unloved, and even unnoticed.

But during this time of year, when so many people surround each other and love on each other, who are you leaving out? Who aren’t you supporting because you’re “comfortable?” During this season, I bet that lack of attention feels more like a dagger than a mere irritation. When we exclude others who need light in their lives, the world becomes exponentially darker.

I found a great (because it gets to the point quickly) article, called “God’s Answer to Loneliness.” I was interested in how the author pinpointed the causes:

Causes of Loneliness

Past Rejections — You may have been rejected in the past, and you’re afraid to try again.
Insecurity —  In your mind, you may not feel worthy to be accepted, so you don’t reach out for other people.
Grief — If you’ve experienced grief, you may feel like nobody understands how badly you hurt. You close up, drop out, hunker down, and live a lonely life of isolation because you think nobody understands.
Self-centeredness — You may be all wrapped up inside of yourself. You live in a bubble of pride and self-centeredness.
Sinful Lifestyle — Sin builds walls. Cain murdered his brother Abel and was driven away from the presence of God, from home, and from loved ones. (Genesis 6:13).
The Depersonalization of Society — When you buy something in a store, you may never even make eye contact. You may live in a house and not even know your neighbors.

Yikes… I bet we can all see areas of this list we can relate with. But I believe during this season, we can battle our own loneliness by walking alongside someone else as they battle their own.

So instead of liking my Facebook post or sharing this article, I want to encourage readers to take charge and act on that feeling deep inside you telling you to step outside of your comfort zone and walk with a friend, relative, or even stranger. Sure, the short-term outcome is unknown and possibly messy, but the long-term rewards and bonds are so, so worth it.

And stop feeling like you’re not qualified! You are, because you care!


One thought on “Loneliness.

  1. Great post Kelly! I attended a woman’s conference the end of October and asked the speaker about dealing with loneliness…as we travel I don’t have the face-to-face friendships that I have when we are in the Blaine area. I received a pat answer “God is always with us so we are never alone.”

    A few days after the retreat I received an email from the coordinator asking why I wasn’t there for the last session (it was a small group of about 35 women). I was very candid with her ~~~~ my reply to her ~~~

    “I learned a valuable lesson from the conference. And now how to explain it….as you know I have been dealing with feeling alone…not loneliness from God or my relationship with him but not having woman friends in the Branson area. I thought that came across with my question about feeling lonely. At the morning session I was sitting behind 3 gals, one of them responded to having times of loneliness.

    Then it was lunch time. I hung around to see if I could connect with some gals but they all tended to go off in their little groups of 2, 3 or 4. I then decided to go to McDonald’s so I could check my emails. When I got there, the 3 gals who I sat behind during the morning session were there…said hi to me and we chatted briefly. They got their order and then went to a table for 4. After getting my food I started toward them and noticed their purses on the seat for the 4th person so I kept on walking. Ate my lunch and did some thinking.

    Came back for the afternoon session and then it was time for dinner. Again, people went off in their little groups. I slowly made my way out of the church and decided I would just go home and have dinner with my hubby. On the way home I started crying and thinking about how I felt so alone and not connected to anyone. Went home and had dinner with my hubby and we started talking…what I realized is that I need to be aware of people around me and when I go to a retreat or conference to watch for women sitting alone and make sure to include them in lunch or meal outings or discussions…I know I have gone to retreats with a girlfriend before and we are so excited to be together and to learn and to share with each other that I am sure I have ignored single women and probably left them feeling alone and not included. I told my hubby that if I learned anything that is to make sure to look out for others who are by themselves and to include them in activities.”

    Your post is another reminder to keep my eyes/ears open wherever I am to be aware of others and their needs.

    May you have a blessed Christmas season! And again, thanks for sharing from your heart.

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