Last Spring, a friend and I led worship for my church’s women’s retreat. One of my favorite hymns, “What Wondrous Love” was part of the set list for the weekend. for those of you who don’t know this beautiful song (or any hymn for that matter), its a simple declaration of the love God has for us.
This evening, my husband and I drove our kids around town looking at Christmas lights. Our five year old son Ian was completely into it. His reaction by the end of the night: “I like a lot of lights.” On the other end of the spectrum, our three year old daughter Ana had apparently grown tired of the car and the fantastic experience, and called out to us “I want to go home, and look at NO lights.” I turned to my husband and asked him how Scrooge had appeared in the back seat of our van.
I have a lot of moments like this. I expect my kids to react a certain way to life experiences, or things I provide for them, and its pretty disappointing when their reaction doesn’t meet my expectations. Like when I set a plate of food in front of them, and they immediately retort “I don’t like it!” There are also those times my kids are misbehaving so badly, I want to kick through a wall. I kicked my dresser once, and the mark is still there.
But regardless of these moments of frustration, sadness, and agitation, I simply have to look at my child to remember why I’m here. When I hear my children’s voices, my heart flutters. When they say profound things or make me crack up, my heart melts. They can’t do anything to make me not love them or to not care for them. Sometimes I am oblivious to the world as I stare at Ana. She is precious, intelligent, and full of surprises. My son Ian confuses me immensely. He is so loving and sensitive, yet so physically passionate and aggressive. He can’t fully speak clearly, but he is brilliant. Underneath the mask introversion, he is the wittiest five year old I have ever met. I pay attention to every little detail of their lives, although sometimes it may look like I’m too busy or preoccupied with my church job to notice.
So, how does God see me? Well, to be honest, I am flawed. Sometimes my words are ugly. Sometimes my reactions aren’t in line with the way I know I should act. Sometimes, I’m just tired, and don’t know what to do with myself. Sometimes, I am stuck in a problem I’ve created, and I wonder why God doesn’t just pull me out of my mess.
How does God see me? Well, I’m His child, and so are you. He loves and cares for us in a way we can’t fathom. He gazes at us in awe of the beauty of His creation. He loves the qualities that make each of us unique. The greatness of His wondrous love is beyond anything we can understand.
We think we know love; but we know nothing until we experience His wondrous love.
Something to think about this Christmas season.